Being a parent is more than just taking care of your kids and sending them to school, it’s also about being a good role model for them.
This is one of the most overlooked parenting responsibilities but is as important as everything else. This is because children are generally born a blank canvas and their personalities are shaped by experiences, people around them, and other external factors. But experts agree that the first stage of schooling for a young child starts from home.
That wasn’t meant to scare you or make you think that parenting hard? That’s why we have friends and family to turn to when we don’t know what to do. This is especially true for those who are going to become first-time parents.
The prospect of raising a human being on your own can be daunting – they are constant pressures from society to be the perfect mom and dad in order to ‘set a good example’ for their kids. But really, is there such a thing as ‘perfect parenting’?
Needless to say, the idea of parenting can be subjective. So if you’re clueless about this life-long journey, you can tap into your parents’ experiences, since they already did such an amazing job raising an awesome human being (you).
Leading by Example
Actress Kate Hudson, for one, is a person who tries her best in setting a good example to her kids, a habit that she has learned from her mom, Goldie Hawn.
The How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days actress shares three kids, Ryder, Bingham, and Rani, from three different fathers.
Yup, you read that right. But don’t judge her just yet, she certainly has a lot of experience in parenting. For starters, she learned the art of healthy co-parenting from a young age.
Kate shares 15-year-old son Ryder with her first ex-husband, Chris Robinson. After the divorce, she got engaged again to Matt Bellamy, father of 7-year-old Bingham, but sadly their union didn’t last for long.
Her current boyfriend, Danny Fujikawa, is the father of Kate’s youngest daughter Rani who was born last October.
That said, it’s obvious that Kate has her plate full — at least parenting-wise. You would almost immediately think that the 39-year-old Fabletics founder has a strained relationship with her exes, but that’s not really the case.
Kate is very careful about what she says in front of her kids because she doesn’t want her feels to affect their relationship with their dad.
Tip from Mama
Here’s the thing: love can be such a beautiful thing but you can never be too sure that things will always work out. Heck, even couples who’ve been married for a decade or more decide to divorce when they are no longer happy – and it happens.
Yes, the kids bear the brunt of a broken relationship but you can always find ways to make them understand the changing dynamics between you and your estranged partner and to show them that your feelings towards their dad won’t affect the family.
And one thing that Kate learned from her mom, who is also a divorcee from ex-husband Bill Hudson, is that you should never say a bad word about the other parent to your child.
In an interview for podcast “Divorce Sucks! With Laura Wasser,” Kate said that she learned an important lesson from her mom, who had never said a bad word about her father in front of Kate.
This is the reason she gets irritated whenever her friends who end up getting a divorce or a separation bad-mouth their exes in front of their kids because they don’t realize how that could affect their young ones.
Kids Can Make Decisions Eventually
The award-winning actress also explained that children are intelligent and can make decisions for themselves once they grow older, so you definitely don’t need to inculcate in their minds what kind of a parent their father is.
Plus, she pointed out that the kids have their own eyes to observe so you’re not in the right place to dictate to them how to feel about the other parent.
What’s more, Kate reiterated that each child has a unique relationship with their father so you need to understand and support that.
In short, what happened between you and the father has nothing to do with the child, who has no fault on the outcome whatsoever.
As for Kate, she gets along with her exes really well, which is quite rare for estranged couples but it works for them. She also shared that one key to co-parenting is to have the same rules under two roofs.
Kate narrated that she and ex Matt have the same regulations in their homes when it comes to their child – this shows the kids that their parents are on the same page.